It’s looked down in many cultures to have kids before marriage, But is it crazy that I wouldn’t change it if I could go back and do it over?
Let me go back to the beginning, I met my husband when I was 16 we didn’t start dating until we were 22 and I found out I was pregnant a couple months after. I will be completely honest here I wasn’t particularly excited about the news, I was more shocked and it just felt like something special was happening but I couldn’t grasp how having Jude would change me.
I never considered getting married to Israel right away after we found out, I knew in my heart I wasn’t ready for that commitment yet and I surely wouldn’t force it because of this pregnancy. I found it easier to focus on preparing us to be parents and getting to a place where I knew we needed to be to welcome this baby. I knew I loved Israel, and I never worried about whether or not I did, I just knew that in time I would know I was ready to marry the father of my son.
The time came and Jude was here, We both had no idea how such a little baby would bring about such an incredibly strong love even between us, I fell in love more with Israel as a father then I had ever felt before. Things took some adjusting and I would still think to myself, Marriage? no, not yet.. I know not everyone starts out the same way with their significant other but let’s just say it was a rough start. We were enjoying getting to know each other on a whole different level I knew this was right for us. It wasn’t until Jude was 3 or 4 years old that I started to feel like we were at a place where marriage would work, we loved each other differently now, I knew in my heart this man I could live for and trust.
Having Jude taught us more than parenthood, It taught us to not take each other for granted, taught us to love each other and appreciate our flaws. We still had a lot to learn at 23, when we became parents we had to learn how to work together and respect one another for the sake of keeping our baby happy and healthy. It wasn’t until I stopped doing it for Jude’s sake and for the sake of my love for Israel that I knew I was ready to get married.